Dear Tate, Thatcher, and Charlie.
It is for you, my kids, that I write this book.
This is my way of giving you “mom talks” without me physically being with you, but in a way that hopefully isn’t naggy and know-it-all-ish (that wouldn’t make for a great read now would it!?) It’s simply my story and I hope that from it you can learn more about who I was and how much I loved you. You changed my life.
(I’m crying now as I write this. Your dad is upstairs sleeping. It’s 11:13 p.m. I was lying there when this whole piece of writing started running through my head. I told him I needed to do something downstairs and here I am in my tank top and underwear (yes, too much information), under my favourite blanket from Iceland, in the complete dark with my computer on my lap and tears going down my face. There’s some ugly crying happening. I wish I could have been with you so much longer.)
I digress, here we go, pull it together woman…
So here’s where I get all sappy and lecture-y with you.
I want you to know yourself better than anyone else. I want you to trust your gut and that inner voice that only you can hear. I didn’t until I was in my 30s and I wish I would have sooner.
Live however you want and do it without worry. Don’t worry if it’s what others will expect or want. Don’t worry about whether it’s considered the right path. Make your own. Your dad is the most supportive person ever, so I know he’ll always have your back. He always had mine.
He’s so well balanced that he’ll help you think through things from every possible angle. You are so lucky to have him as your dad. You will be raised knowing love and the wrong lyrics to every song (see, I told you I’m the funny one, Eric).
Your dad is silly and fun. He has the biggest heart. Take care of him for me and give him lots of hugs (even when you get older).
I love you so much,
For friends reading this, don’t worry! I’m totally okay. I’m healthy and life is good. I’ve just decided that I want to write a book for the kids. You never know what can happen in life and whether I live until I’m 90 or only until next week, I want the kids to know their mom. My story is my own to share and I hope by sharing it, they learn more about themselves too.
I’m going to start putting pieces of their book on my blog. This page is going to act like a table of contents so to speak – a place for me to organize what I’ve created so far. It might be neat to see a book come together. It always seems like a mysterious, secretive process.
I’ve found a place to self-publish and I’m going to print a copy of the book for each of the kids and myself. I’ll share my process here in case it’s something you would like to do for your kids too.