we’re not so simple

We like to label ourselves
as this or that.

I’m an introvert.
I’m an extrovert.
I’m shy.
I’m fearless.
I’m whatever term
is really popular right now.

it’s not that

We are everything.

We are this and that.
An amazing combination
of every trait
you could ever think of.

We move in
and out,
and growing.
It must be beautiful
to see.

And yet
we try to categorize
each other,
an old school way
of protecting ourselves.
Dating back to when
we needed to recognize
our predator
to survive.

But it doesn’t do us justice.

Humans are complex
little creatures.
And it’s a good thing.


A Different Side.

I’ve been showing only one side of myself.

Friends know my silly side.  They know my sense of humour, my ability to drop f* bombs and make light of situations.  I’m the one that jokes around and gets everyone to dress up for made up holidays at work.  They describe me as fearless and dynamic.

Yet I feel like my blog and Instagram posts have been telling a different story lately.  My little walks down memory lane sharing stories about my past, my hometown, sentimental items in my jewelry box… it makes me sound totally different from the Lainie many know.  It makes me sound really nostalgic and tied to the past.  Which I can be at times, but I don’t like to stay there long.

Because I’m this and that.

As much as I can be reflective, I’m also the one who thinks let’s move on already.  I’m the one who says ugh to art that feels too deep or writing that feels like it’s trying too hard (which is funny because mine likely does the same thing). Keep it light people.  Just say what you need to say.

As much as I think about the past, I love entrepreneurs and start ups.  I’m not tied to old ways of thinking.  I love people who challenge tradition and the status quo, in order to create something new and better.  I admire the forward thinking minds of Steve Jobs and Biz Stone and yet can be nostalgic and like the original Batman movie the best. Random fact but true.

And as much as I tuck away little mementos and keepsakes, I also love to purge. I could be a host on one of those Hoarder shows – quickly chucking old things that serve no purpose.

My friends have recently told me that they are learning a whole new side of me through my writing.  I think I am too.

Art from the Shower

In the shower is where all the random pieces in my head start to come together.

One day I realized that my personality traits are contradictory.  I am this and that, not one or the other (hence this blog post).  I quickly scribbled something down in my notebook afterwards to hold onto the thinking…

Screen Shot 2018-10-04 at 1.59.22 PM.png

I wanted to take this idea and turn it into a piece of art.

The kids were napping.  I was upstairs at my desk and didn’t want to venture down our creaky stairs to grab my collage stuff (I keep a stash of different paper downstairs).  So I started to grab things around my desk.  A paint strip (I grab these all the time).  Birch bark (I brought some pieces home from the cabin this summer).  A bright yellow leaf (I am drawn to them.  I don’t know why.)

Screen Shot 2018-10-04 at 2.00.34 PM.png

I started to cut strips, thinking it could be created like a this and that; pieces on the left to represent my past and bright and fun pieces on the right to represent my present/future.  It didn’t work out that way.

Screen Shot 2018-10-04 at 2.03.12 PM.png

I realized that so much of the past pulls into my present.  There’s a strip in the middle from a letter Grandma Lainie sent me.  She is a part of my past and continues to shape my present, so the strip spans the page.

There’s a pine needle from the cabin, a place that I love.  Falu Red to represent my Dad’s side of the family.  There’s paper with a wood print that reminds me of home and darker colours to represent some challenging times in my past.

Screen Shot 2018-10-04 at 2.04.45 PM.png

And on the right, there’s colour.  I love greens and mustard yellow.  I love a touch of gold and brightness.  I love design and texture.  Prints and contrast.

It’s all a mix of me.

It’s kind of neat to think about.  What would yours look like?


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