to my son, the night before junior kindergarten.

Monday, September 3, 2018.

Hi Sweetie,

On Saturday you asked,
Is the weekend almost over? 
Why bud?  Are you excited to start school?

On Sunday you asked again,
Is the weekend almost over…

We’re so glad that you are excited to go.
It’s quite a change from earlier this week.

While having breakfast together, you asked:
Am I going to be all alone?
Will you be there, Mama?
Then a single tear.

Oh man, what it took for me not to cry along with you.  Instead I picked you up from your chair and plopped you in my lap.  Your now long legs on either side of mine with arms wrapped around my neck.  Face buried into my shoulder.  I wiped my tears before you sat up.

You were my first.

And now you are the first of our little crew to leave home and start school.  Deep down, I’m actually excited for you.  I really hope that it’s a good experience for you.  You are such a smart little guy.  You ask the greatest questions, are so curious, and love to experiment and try things.  I hope your teacher keeps that love of learning going. It’s something to have for a lifetime.

And…I really don’t want to cry in the school yard.  Like really don’t want to.  But if I do, it’s because of this…

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This was you, Tate.  Your dad took this picture of us.  We were in the hospital just after you were born.  We were so excited to meet you.


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The best days were laying on a picnic blanket together in Witherow Park.


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Or when your Dad and I would take you to High Park.  We would stretch out a blanket under a tree, have a picnic, and read you stories.

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And then stick you in a bucket with cute clothes on and take a million pictures.


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You went through a stage of loving cats, so I made you this costume.


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And this was the year you wanted to be Chase from Paw Patrol for Halloween.  You were so excited to go trick-or-treating.  Then after 30 minutes you said, “let’s go home and try some treats.


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The year you fell in love with Easter.  I kept following you around the house and re-hiding the Easter eggs because you didn’t want the hunt to end.

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We loved quiet mornings at the Farmers Market with smoothies and time spent playing under the big tree.


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This week we stopped for a quick visit to meet your new teacher.  I hoped it would make you feel better about starting school.  It worked.  As we walked away, I looked down and asked, What did you think bud?  Your answer: Great.

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If I cry on your first day of school, it’s just because I love you and I will miss spending time with you.

When you wave goodbye as you walk into the building (which you may not even do), I will do my best not to play these pictures through my head.  Instead, I want to be the Mom that is smiling and waving excitedly to you.  I want you to feel good about your first day and about moving on without me for this part.   You’ve totally got this.

I love you, Tate.



7 Replies to “to my son, the night before junior kindergarten.”

  1. Awe Lainie, how sweet. Of course Tate will be fine, look who is very first teacher is. He is a brave, confident little man who knows at the end of the day his mommie, brother and sister will be right there waiting to hear all about his amazing first day. I will be thinking about you tomorrow morning, a little tear or two is perfectly acceptable.

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