Meeting My Hubby.

He likes to say that I didn’t notice him.
I vaguely remember a guy
who would visit our residence floor
with his friend Simon.
It was first year university
and they lived on
another floor
in the building.

I remember a Halloween party that year
where I stole a cardboard WWF wrestling belt
from some guy.
Dressed as Strawberry Shortcake,
I naturally taunted the owner
with his stolen property
and ran down our residence hallway
to show off my latest find
to friends.
The owner was Eric.

I had a boyfriend from home at the time.
He was going to school at the University of Guelph
and I saw him most weekends.
I wasn’t paying attention to other guys.
School ended that spring
and I remember writing this guy Eric a letter
to congratulate him for his new position
as a don on the Residence Life Staff.
That summer we kept in touch over email.
I still had my boyfriend and just saw it
as talking to someone from school.

 

I wanted that boy.

I never asked a guy out before.
I was shy and wasn’t one
to put myself out there.
Until Eric.

I wanted that boy.

In second year, my high school boyfriend of 2 ½ years
broke up with me over ICQ.
Yep, ICQ.

The timing worked out.  Eric and I were both on Brock University’s Residence Life Staff (RLS) that year.  I had received a letter that summer to offer me a position as a don designate.  It meant that we both lived in residence, saw each other at team meetings, and started to hang out in similar circles.

We began as friends.  He was fun to spend time with.  Then at some point, I remember looking forward to our weekly team meetings.  We would sit in a large circle in a residence lounge, on those inexpensive hard couches and chairs.  Each meeting I hoped to sit next to him and would purposely sit in places where it would increase my chances.  I told you I wanted that boy 😉

He wore bright yellow modrobes and pajama pants most of the time.  He was goofy and didn’t seem to take things so seriously. He was incredibly thoughtful and gave his time so freely to others.

I wanted this guy.  Mr. Eric Holmes was pursued by me.

I often stopped by his townhouse to hang out with him and his roommates.  I asked him to Don’s Ball, the formal event of the year. I asked him months before the dance, because I was worried that another girl would beat me to it.  My best friend, Anna, likes to say that I wasn’t very popular with some of the girls on campus.

I wanted this guy.

He was sweet (still is).  Flying home for Christmas that year, he put together a care package for me to have on the plane.  It was filled with cookies he had baked (or maybe someone else had baked). He threw tiny pebbles at my residence bedroom window so he could come over and visit without waking my roommates. (I know what you’re thinking. That didn’t happen.) We started studying in the Ed lounge, with the hopes of bumping into one another, even though there were study places all over campus.

I had found my boy.

After graduation, we went our own ways.
He moved to Toronto
to work with the Toronto Argonauts football team.
I lived in a bachelor basement apartment
in Welland,
teaching at a school
where I did my first placement.

Weekends were spent
traveling back and forth.
I remember lots of phone calls
and Sunday nights
where we tried to stretch out the visit
only to race him back
to St.Catharines
just in time
to catch the bus
back into the city.

Standing on the platform
surrounded by strangers
giving him a hug and kiss
trying not to cry.

Driving away
and looking back
at the bus
taking him away.

Arriving home,
to an empty apartment.

I missed him.

I wanted to be with him,
but girls don’t chase after boys.

But eventually I did.
I decided to leave
my coveted
full time, contract position
and move to Toronto
to be with him.
That was not
a very Lainie thing
to do.

I found a long-term
occasional position
with another school board.
It scared me
to take a risk like this.
What if it didn’t work out?
What about my career?

I did it anyways.
It worked out 🙂
We’ve been together now
18 years.
(I know, I don’t know how it’s possible either,
we are both SO young).

 

a midnight swim.

Having babies is a big decision.
One of those things
where you don’t want to freak out
your partner
by bringing it up
when they’re not ready.

After years of saying no way
to the many questions posed
by family and friends,
I knew that I was ready.
I wasn’t sure if he was.

We had gone to a party
at the Mosbecks.
It included some beverages
and some games.
We had been married at this point
for a few years.

I remember the midnight swim afterwards
back at the cabin
with us laying on the dock
looking up at the stars
and both bravely saying
that we were ready for babies
with the confidence that only comes
after a few drinks.

I think I’m ready to have a baby.
Really?! Me too.
Seriously?? Holy sh$% When?
Any time.
Oh man…

We tried for a year.
No babies.
How is it that a person can spend
years worrying about getting pregnant
and then when you are actually trying,
Nothing.

Then the feelings that come
with trying to get pregnant.
Trying to diagnose any little
twinge or change.
Maybe I am pregnant…
Nope.

Avoiding drinking.
Avoiding hot tubs.
Avoiding raw fish.
You never know right?

No babies.

And yet still the many questions from others
about when we were going to have children.

It was so frustrating
to want something so badly
and for it not to happen.
To see other women walking around
with their cute round bellies
and wishing to have your own.

No baby.
until the fall of 2013.
something seemed different.

I remember taking a test
at home
and being so excited
that I basically threw the stick
at Eric who was sitting
on the couch.

Really?! I’m so excited!
I want to tell everyone!
How will we keep it secret for 3 months!?
(this is all Eric talking)

We just didn’t expect
to keep it a secret
for 4 years.