Meet Stay-At-Home Sally and Sue.
They’re twins, but you would never know it; they’re so opposite of each other.
Sally is frumpy looking, soft, and not put together. Her hair is usually a mess – stringy and pulled back into a ponytail or limp and hanging in her face. Her clothing was fashionable a decade ago but she doesn’t care; being a mother is the most important thing in the world.
She spends her days in her house or taking her entourage of children to free programming. You’d think she’d want more from her life.
Then there’s her sister Sue, in her Lululemon from head to toe. She has full makeup on at all times and manicures are a weekly appointment she keeps. She spends her days with other stay at home moms. They sip lattes and gossip while their kids play. They just can’t understand how other mothers could possibly leave their children and go back to work. It’s so sad…
Needless to say, these sisters don’t spend a lot of time together. They live in very different worlds, despite both being home with their kids. Sally enjoys time with her nieces and nephews, but she gets her fill of hearing their mom go on and on about their rep hockey and competitive dance. Their list of extracurricular activities is extensive and pricey.
For Sue, she feels bad for her sister who has let herself go. Her kids aren’t involved in any sports or extracurricular activities. They just hang around their house or sketchy community centres. Maybe she should pay for them to take a class somewhere…
What do the twins need?
What’s funny is that despite outside appearances, both sisters have a lot in common. They are both exhausted. Neither of them feels like they have it all together. They spend their days making plans around their kids and their interests. They wish for free time and on those not so good days, think about those who get to eat their lunch (instead of scrambling to put together food for hungry and tired children that are screaming and fighting).
Sally wants to be more put together but would rather spend that money on signing the kids up for swimming lessons. She does have ambition and goals. She’s currently working on expanding her portfolio and she’s home caring for her kids. She wants her sister to know that she does have value and what she is already doing is important.
For Sue, she wants to talk about other things with the moms in the neighbourhood. It’s just that their worlds have become so small. Those days of travelling to far-off destinations and weekends out with friends, feels sooooo long ago. Now it’s sitting around waiting for hockey practice to end or in the car driving the kids to their next lesson. What else is there to talk about besides the kids? Sue also wants her sister to know that she doesn’t think that her own choices are above others.
What have the sisters given me?
The twins have given me some perspective. Thank you, ladies.
I am both Sally and Sue. I know what exhaustion feels like; we have three little ones under three. Dressing them and getting them out the door is an accomplishment in itself.
I long for those days when I had regular manicures like Sue. Now, my nails are usually painted in the car on the way to an event (which doesn’t happen so often). And although it may sound superficial to some, I like looking down and seeing a pop of colour on my fingernails. I feel more like myself.
Like Sally, I also leave the house looking frumpy. Judge away park moms. I am also trying to feel a little more like Sue and to wear clothes that make me feel good.
I am the queen of finding free programming for our kids. Being able to drink a tea while we’re at the park feels like a treat. And as for talking with neighbourhood moms, I suck at it. I’m not great at making small talk. Give me a group of women who can talk about great books or places they’ve travelled, then I’m good.
Growing up, I never would have said that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Even now after being home on maternity leave for the last three years, I still don’t see myself as one. It wasn’t until a lady in our neighbourhood passed by our house one day and stopped to chat. “There aren’t many stay-at-home mom’s anymore…” I guess I am one?!? I had never considered it.
I am embarrassed to say, there was a time when I didn’t understand why women wouldn’t want something more. Didn’t they want a career of their own? Why would you want to stay at home all day? And now look at who’s talking!
I do want a career of my own and trust me, I don’t want to stay home all day. Once naps are done, I’m packing them up to get outside. We all need fresh air, a change in scenery, and hopefully a chance to experience something new. I get house fever as much as the kids.
I am happy that I get to be home with our kids. This past week, I got to see Charlie wave for the first time. She’s 8 months old and responded to a hello at the park with a wave. I got to hear Thatcher say ‘baby’ for the first time. I got to teach Tate how to sing, The Five Little Pumpkins. The best moments of my week are the simple ones related to our kids.
Although the idea of being a stay-at-home mom or being a mommy blogger has rubbed me the wrong way for a long time, I am learning to be proud of the title. We are very fortunate to have our little family. I may feel exhausted and stretched most days, but at least I can honestly say that I love what I’m doing.
If you’re wondering why I’m writing about random characters, I’ve explained it in a post I wrote called: Protective Patty and My Why. If you want to meet my other bus people (and get to know me a little more), check out:
Thanks for reading!